You just got asked to give a toast at the wedding. An honor! But also a bit of a nerve-wrecking responsibility, if you're not used to public speaking. So, what should you be focused on, as you prepare?
The toast is an opportunity to show your love for the happy couple and make their big day truly special. A well-crafted toast will light up the room, eliciting laughs and maybe even a few happy tears. So, here’s how to write a wedding speech that both you and your loved ones will be proud of.
How to Write A Wedding Toast
It might feel tempting to wing it with your toast on the day of the wedding, especially if you’re not exactly sure what you want to say. However, writing your toast ahead of time will give you a helpful guideline to follow and minimize the chances of awkward stage fright. Here are some writing tips to help you get your thoughts organized.
Start with a total brain dump.
Don’t worry about making the first draft of your toast perfect. Phase one is about getting all of your thoughts and ideas out on the page and giving yourself a plethora of material to work with. Make some sketches, throw in some quotes, recollect story headlines of your time with the bride and groom.
Get it all out there! You can organize your thoughts however you like, whether that’s making a bulleted list or writing in a stream-of-consciousness style. Once you’ve gotten all of your ideas down, you can edit them in a future draft.
Keep things concise.
If your toast is too long, the other guests might lose interest or start to get distracted. Keeping things short and sweet will keep your audience’s attention and ensure that your words make an impact. After you’ve made your first few drafts, do an editing round to tighten things up.
So, is there a science to it? Yes!
The perfect length for your toast is about 3-5 minutes. Or, about 400-500 words. It should also have a clear beginning, middle and end.
So, if you break it down, your wedding toast should be structured the following way:
45-60 sec. - Opening
120-180 sec. - Middle
45-60 sec. -Closing
Share special memories or stories.
To make your toast more engaging, talk about a specific story or stories you have of the couple that illustrates their personality or your connection with them. Consider your relationship to the couple and share how that relationship has impacted you.
When preparing your wedding toast stories, think back to when you first met them, or discuss a time when you could tell they were going to end up together. However, you’ll want to avoid sharing any stories that could make the couple uncomfortable.
Focus on happy memories that highlight their best personality traits. Be authentic and let your natural personality and tone of voice shine through in your writing. Also, this is a time when it’s okay to get emotional - it will actually help your words resonate with the audience.
CHECK OUT: 10 wedding shower gifts every couple needs and wants.
Avoid telling inside jokes.
While it might be funny to you and the couple, it will leave the rest of the audience feeling left out or confused, which can make things a bit awkward. Stick to humor that’s more inclusive for everyone, while letting your own personality resonate.
In the same vein, you’ll want to make sure that your toast addresses both people getting married, rather than just the one you are closest to. This can be tough, if you haven't spent a ton of time around the partner, but ultimately, this is a celebration of their love and their future, and your toast should include enough about both of them to reflect that.
Express your thanks and congratulations.
In the opening of your toast, make sure to thank the couple for inviting you to make a speech and thank anyone else who’s hosting the event, such as their parents or other family members.
You’ll also want to offer a heartfelt congratulations at the end of your toast. Not only is this just good manners, but it also adds some structure, by closing your toast properly.
Preparing to Deliver Your Wedding Toast
Now, getting up and delivering a toast in front of a big crowd of wedding guests might feel a bit daunting. Here are some tips to help make delivering your toast to the crowd a breeze.
Slow it down.
Many people have a tendency to talk faster than normal when they’re feeling nervous. You're in a rush to get through it and move on with the event. This makes it difficult for the audience to understand what you’re saying, and it is also a tell-tale sign that you’re feeling anxious about the speech.
The age old advice is to take two deep inhales and exhales, whenever you need, remind yourself to slow down, and make sure to fully articulate each word.
Practice ahead of time.
Grab a few friends to test-drive the toast with before the wedding day. This will give you the perfect opportunity to practice in a low-stakes environment and get those jitters out before the big day. Additionally, your friends will be able to give you helpful feedback to refine the toast.
Bring a couple of note cards with you.
Don’t feel like you have to memorize your toast ahead of time - it’s perfectly acceptable to use note cards to help guide you through your speech. Particularly, they will help get you back on track if you lose your train of thought or veer of on a tangent for a bit. Sometimes, just having the note cards will give you the peace of mind you need to settle down and nail the toast, too!
Fake it ‘til you make it.
Public speaking doesn’t come naturally to everyone, and that’s okay. Remember that the couple and the audience are rooting for you to succeed, and that ultimately, the night is about them, and you're just sharing a piece of your story to make it better for them. So, take two deep breaths, put on a smile, keep your note cards handy and have a blast.
Final Thoughts on Preparing for the Perfect Wedding Toast
Giving a heartfelt toast at someone’s wedding is a memory they will appreciate for years to come. You'll look back at the candid photo of you mid-speech and be glad you did it, and so will the bride and groom. Remember to just be yourself, be honest throughout the toast and ultimately, let your unique perspective of the couple be what shines through in the speech.
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